Overwhelmed!!!!

Do you ever feel like the world is on your shoulders? Like your the only one in the situation your in, and you just don't know how to handle society? Bothered, because you can't fix it with your hands? Well this how I feel at this moment. Why?

First off, Jerry is leaving to go back full time into the army, and it will be the first time I experience something like that. I mean, how do I tell the baby that daddy wont be coming home to see you, or we can't go visit daddy this weekend. I feel more for her than for myself. She is the one, who is kind of missing out on things with her father, as well as him. I couldn't imgaine the things that he may feel. I am anxious for what the future may hold, but I also want him home twenty-four seven by my side. I'm staying back for at least a year to save and build money. there are some pros to this, but I just know that I will miss him. I think about my step daughter and how I nor his sister will be able to see her, during the time that he is gone. Why? Her mother is a total control freak, she's a nut job, and she's not really a fit parent. She doesn't know how to get along with his other family, and she doesn't want to. Enough about her....I want him to be here to see Autumn grow in her Gymnastics class, to watch me lose this weight (wink). So much I want him here for but I know that he is doing this better us. So I won't complain I guess. Lol.

Secondly, I'm working out and this is so hard. I tell myself constantly, how could I LET myself get this big. I mean it hurts, BAD when I work out. I enjoy it and I know the results would be rewarding. I just wish that this would come off much sooner. I want to be able bend down to give Autumn a hug, or run and play tag with her, just do what a lot of parents do with their kids, instead of being tired all the time. Trust its not easy being me.

Also, balancing my work, with my workout, Autumn, and now Im trying to go back to school. I am so overwhelmed with stuff, but I have to have determination otherwise things WON'T get done. Its not impossible its just hard.

Don't waste valuable time.
Angel B.