The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I have officially washed my hands with one of my closest family members. I wasn't trying to be mean or rude, but its just some things that you don't hold from your family when you KNOW they are going to find out. Its just a bunch of bullshit. Where can I begin.

First, lets say that my cousin who is like my brother is dating my fiance sister, in which some people wouldn't think that's wrong. That's fine. The problem is that we was all close and now that they are dating it has pushed our friendship and closeness apart. So that's where the problem occurs. Then it went to a point where. My love sister was saying that MY family was hating, and fuck us she don't need our approval and a bunch of 21 year old bullshit. But my brother is sitting back riding it like he 21. He old as fuck acting like her. Edging her on.

Second, where do I begin. So we all went our separate ways and we all fine and dandy with that. Me and my brother would still talk on a regular basis and see each other. He even came to my birthday party, which was cool. But my family was still some haters. All the while no one ever says anything to me about why I am such a hater. When I don't even care.

So Third, This is the big part. Just this past weekend my uncle which is my cousin (brother) dad calls my mother who is my uncle ONLY sister and tell her that he about to be a granddad. My mother was shocked and instantly called me and thought that I knew something about it. I told her no, but I was instantly hurt. Why because he was running around before he started dating her talking about how he wanted a baby, and now that you are about to have your first child you have to hide it from the only one who would probably accept you. But its like now since you couldn't tell me fuck you. So his girl who is immature goes and says that we are in her business. How so? How am I in your business. I feel like if you don't want me to know, don't tell people in my family that you know is going to tell me.

So I washed my hands with him and her since I am such a fucking hater and in their business. You want have to worry about me and all. I sent him a text telling him not to call me and lose my number. Don't expect shit from me and have a nice life. I just don't understand people sometimes. How can you bring another life into this world and you can't control the one you have. The momma or you as a step daddy. Both of you are broke and living off other people. But I am hater. Get your shit together and then you can speak to me. Until then live your life and I will live mines. Congrats to you and yours.

Sometimes family can be your worst enemy...

Angel B.

They Trying To Stop Me!

So I been having the darnest time getting back into school. I want to go so bad. I need to finish up on my hopes, goals and dreams. So the last time I went I had graduated from Olympia College. Then I attempted to go back to Roosevelt University and I got the classes and everything, BUT I started working a full time job and it cut my classes out. So I withdrew from school. Then I get a call telling me that I may owe the school because I did not withdraw correctly. So now they are telling me that I owe them at least $2,000. What The Freaking Hell!!! So they told me I can send in a petition to override that owe anything. Never heard anything. Sent in another one six months later, still haven't heard anything. So now I have contacted them because I am trying to get back in and the lady that I spoke with was very polite and willing to help me. She stated to me that she will call me back and figure out whats going on with my account. She has given me hope, that I won't have to pay them that money. I am praying that I won't. I know they have the right to do so but I don't have that type of money as of now. Just giving you guys a head up on the progress I am trying to make.

Never stop trying..The word Can't does not exist..

Angel B.

Great Weekend!

My weekend was fantastic. Friday I went out with my girlfriend from High School. We went club hoppin. I met Chris Michaels from WGCI. He got us into all these different bars and clubs. It was wonderful. I enjoyed seeing her and hanging with her. You ROCK Dinorah. So Saturday I went over to my other friend house and I just relaxed and chilled with her and her friends. We watched movies, had some drinks (not me). She even cooked. lol. Thanks Misha. Sunday was my family day. I went bowling with my mother and I slept from 1 to 5. Jerry made a delicious meal for me. Some Greens, Cornbread, Mac and Cheese and Chicken. It was soooo Yummy Licious. Lmao. Then we laid up and watched TV, after I gave Autumn a bath. So relaxing. Your fabulous Jerry. So that was my great weekend, I hope I can do it again this weekend. Friends call me.

Lets Chill..

Angel B.

What's Really Going On

For the past month things seems as if they are going down hill for me and Jerry. He seem to question my where bouts and the things that I am doing when I am not with him. We had this talk where we get everything out in the opening but that haven't worked. So for this week he calls me and and asks me what time am I coming home. Lets be honest who in Gods name knows when there are coming home when they are having a good time with their friends. So I felt like the question was irrelevant, for the simple fact that if I would of told him in 30 min, then he would be expecting me in 30 min. So the next thing is what if I don' t feel like coming in at those 30 mins, then it will be an argument about why I told him 30 min. Get my point. So its like I am growing tired of questions like that. Questions such as What are you doing? Hanging with my friends. When you coming home? Don't know. Where are you? The same place I said I was 20 minutes ago. I don't know maybe its me. But when I go out I like to just hang. Call me with a conversation like. I miss you bay.. I do too.. Just calling to hear your voice. AW WW how sweet. OK then baby see you at home.. OK bay Love you... I love you too...Quick first and foremost, but sweet and sexy at the same time. I am not trying to be mean but, I have come to realize that we need our space from each other after the long week of seeing each other. Lets get out with our own friends. I'm the type of person who hates to hold a conversation with someone when I am with someone else. For example. I am out with an old college friend, don't call me and try to hold a conversation about something else when we can talk about this at home. Get my drift. I just needed to write about some of these things that are on my mind. Tired of venting now.. TTYL..


Don't let your mind bother you, it will drive you crazy.

Angel B.

Mind Is Racing!

I have a friend that is missing. She is good friend of mines. I mean let me say that we went to high school together and we was close, so now that we are older we speak more often. So I was on my myspace and her status had caught my eye. It had said the she was missing and that this was for real to call her little sister if we heard or seen anything. So then I scrolled down and she had placed a bulletin and everything. The bulletin was basically stating what she had on and what she looked like. So of course this started to worry me. I called her sister to find out what happened and what she told me had just disturbed me. I can't and won't go into details about what happened. I just want everyone to pray for her and her family. This goes to anyone who is reading this.

Please Pray

Angel

She's Mine

I got some wonderful news and also some scary news. I went to my daughters school and Jerry took her in to her class and when he came out, I saw him talking himself. So of course when he got in the car I asked him why is was speaking to himself. He said "Well bay, You know Autumn is Ms. Janice (Autumns teacher) baby". I said "of course". So he goes on to tell me that she wants me to observe Autumn and put it on this paper. So you know I'm anxiously waiting for him to tell me for what. As he continue he goes to say " Ms. Janice wants to sit down and work with her and prepare her for next fall". I was looking at him in the disbelief look. Then he continued to tell me that she wanted her to start kindergarten in fall of "09". Remind you my baby is only three she won't be four until February, so that means she will be an early four year old starting school. I just felt so overwhelmed like they were trying to take my baby from me. I told him next they will be trying to move out my house by the age of six. Jerry just looked at me. Him being a father of course he doesn't see it my way. He sees it as it will be a great opportunity and which I do too. But. I also see it as she is my first baby and I want her all to myself. How selfish is that? I know she has to go.. but really this soon. I just love her so much. So I guess I will have to do my best to work with this teacher to help my child be a better person. My mom told me when you have your own child then you see why I protect you so much. I feel like it is my duty to keep her close to me, but I know she will venture off on her own. She is so independent already in which she reminds me of myself.


I never knew how much my heart could hold, UNTIL Autumn called me Mommy.

Angel B.